My protoplasmic shell sits warm in the Summer sun,

while my soul lies trapped in the frozen tundra.

The two cannot coexist, without negating creation;

resulting in, psychological frustration.

An impasse in the innards of a ruined soul,

between warring generals of Good and Evil.  

Time will not heal, nor will the Summer sun loosen their grasp.

Instead I remind myself of the days we spent together.

Remembering the good, the bad, and everything between.

A tickle of warmth, to break the firing line, a brief reprieve.

Living like a slave to buried memories.

We shined like the brightest stars

even on the darkest of nights.

Yet we never knew when to give up a fight.

I guess this is where I find the light,

or recess into the shadow-less night. 

love… will I ever get you right?

It’s been so long since I’ve talked to her

The “old” her

Before my mind over-emphasized her grandeur

Before my self-destructive tendencies

Broke my heart in two cities

Half fled, with her, half stayed behind

Reluctant to commit at any point in time

Itself to the trials of deferring love or lust

for a tender heart, swept north in a gust

a primordial wind whose current lay ancient

with whispers of the Renaissance and darkest of ages,

with conflicting wisdom, not to be believed,

by anyone, but the naive: Me.

 Then life became a bore without her,

without her in my hopeless arms.

I pressured and I endured

With fables of love, and the way “I LOVED HER!”

All simply a veil, over childhood insecurities

As if she were the light, and I, frightened by night

Feared the dusk when she leaves.

Years have gone by since I needed so bad to let go

My thoughts racing as I drive my ass home

I cant believe its been another night with you blown

I try to turn to my words while being confused by your own

(still cant get this shit straight)

I turned to the one thing always on my side (a puff then a rip… OH ease my mind)

Not much else to do when you are immune to my charm

And getting close to you is like leaping the great wall

An impossible feat; at least I’d give it my all

Yet here I am with my tail between my legs, cutting my losses and limping home

(feeling the need to be so numb, so gone, so blown)

Oh what a beautiful night with a shooting star so bright.

Only to find your face plaguing my mind

I suppose…

In high fidelity I hear

A ravaged man

Screaming at the world

He talks of razors and

Deception.

And still finds time for

Clairvoyant discussion.

His symphony, an army.

A sentry for any circumstance.

Be it fighting relentless demons

Or his own rogue hands.

He is the ruler of dreams

No other man can.

I listen closely

To miss nothing.

A whisper, too far

I NEED more!

Though

I crave more than deserved

Even then, it’s never enough.

Longing to live these tragedies

For my sorrow would finally be

Relevant.

Awaiting your next call to arms

Years in the making.

Touring roadie cars

Medication ritual to keep Your

Body an individual

To prevent the demon from

Unleashing a new heathen

Relapse, collapse

The story of your life.

I pray for your body

To repent the sickness

To return your health.

But I pray far too much

I’ve not control over