The Way it Goes

My protoplasmic shell sits warm in the Summer sun,

while my soul lies trapped in the frozen tundra.

The two cannot coexist, without negating creation;

resulting in, psychological frustration.

An impasse in the innards of a ruined soul,

between warring generals of Good and Evil.  

Time will not heal, nor will the Summer sun loosen their grasp.

Instead I remind myself of the days we spent together.

Remembering the good, the bad, and everything between.

A tickle of warmth, to break the firing line, a brief reprieve.

Living like a slave to buried memories.

We shined like the brightest stars

even on the darkest of nights.

Yet we never knew when to give up a fight.

I guess this is where I find the light,

or recess into the shadow-less night. 

love… will I ever get you right?

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A revision…

The Way it Goes

It’s been so long since I’ve talked to her

The “old” her

Before my mind over-emphasized her grandeur

Before my self-destructive tendencies

Broke my heart in two cities

Half fled, with her, half stayed behind

Reluctant to commit at any point in time

Itself to the trials of deferring love or lust

for a tender heart, swept north in a gust

a primordial wind whose current lay ancient

with whispers of the Renaissance and darkest of ages,

with conflicting wisdom, not to be believed,

by anyone, but the naive: Me.

 Then life became a bore without her,

without her in my hopeless arms.

I pressured and I endured

With fables of love, and the way “I LOVED HER!”

All simply a veil, over childhood insecurities

As if she were the light, and I, frightened by night

Feared the dusk when she leaves.

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A Poet makes himself a visionary through a long, boundless, and systematized disorganization of all the senses. All forms of love, of suffering, of madness; he searches himself, he exhausts within himself all poisons and preserves their quintessences. Unspeakable torment, where he will need the greatest faith, a superhuman strength, where he becomes among all men the great invalid, the great accursed– and the Supreme Scientist! For he attains the unknown! So what if he is destroyed in his ecstatic flight through things unheard of, unnameable.

An excerpt from a letter to Paul Demeny written by Arthur Rimbaud

The days when my mind was still working…

The Way it Goes

Years have gone by since I needed so bad to let go

My thoughts racing as I drive my ass home

I cant believe its been another night with you blown

I try to turn to my words while being confused by your own

(still cant get this shit straight)

I turned to the one thing always on my side (a puff then a rip… OH ease my mind)

Not much else to do when you are immune to my charm

And getting close to you is like leaping the great wall

An impossible feat; at least I’d give it my all

Yet here I am with my tail between my legs, cutting my losses and limping home

(feeling the need to be so numb, so gone, so blown)

Oh what a beautiful night with a shooting star so bright.

Only to find your face plaguing my mind

I suppose…

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Since I finally made an appearance at my FIRST GlassJAw show, held at the Glasshouse concert hall, I wanted to reblog a poem I wrote about the band to show my gratitude for them coming back to California for their 20th anniversary mini-tour. I feel honored; quite literally, to have had the opportunity of watching them live at one of the best venues on their schedule. AMAZING SHOW!

The Way it Goes

In high fidelity I hear

A ravaged man

Screaming at the world

He talks of razors and


And still finds time for

Clairvoyant discussion.

His symphony, an army.

A sentry for any circumstance.

Be it fighting relentless demons

Or his own rogue hands.

He is the ruler of dreams

No other man can.

I listen closely

To miss nothing.

A whisper, too far

I NEED more!


I crave more than deserved

Even then, it’s never enough.

Longing to live these tragedies

For my sorrow would finally be


Awaiting your next call to arms

Years in the making.

Touring roadie cars

Medication ritual to keep Your

Body an individual

To prevent the demon from

Unleashing a new heathen

Relapse, collapse

The story of your life.

I pray for your body

To repent the sickness

To return your health.

But I pray far too much

I’ve not control over

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“He did believe in God, but, frankly, he didn’t trust him, and saw no reason in the world why he should. If God’s idea of salvation was Jesus Christ, God was too eccentric to be relied on.” -Handling Sin by Michael Malone

I’ve been reading a lot more than usual lately and it seems I will resort to some witty and entertaining quotes as I go on. Hopefully this at least keeps me connected with the writing community while I try to figure out why my body weeps as a soul is worthless without a healthy protoplasmic blob to dwell in. 

Lover’s scars, they come without drawn blood but a wound to the heart. It’s just a time bomb waiting to blow. She goes mad with agony inside never knowing why. She thinks about him even when he’s not on her mind. He shot her dead on with a spectral bullet. Shot through the heart but no wound to be found. Even after penetration she never fell down. She stood tall and proud just waiting for that one cloud to cover the sun so she could hide from the world. She never thought anyone would find the shrapnel. She thought it’d be left inside forever until her savior at once came to be. He wiped away the cloud and said “no more hiding, it’s all said and done; embrace the warmth of our generous sun”

How foolish we are to wish upon a star
With light years drawn between us all. 
So many a wish claim a single sun; 
Rarely, yours is the chosen one.

I’m better off with a post-card to Mars. 
Where civilization may have thrived
With high hopes that a dweller took shelter
Before Armageddon arrived

This is a really good friend of mine who goes by the name “Hana Banana!” Not officially but in our line of friendship it is. This girl has been an inspiration to me in my writing since the very beginning. She was my first “writing buddy” I guess you can call it and I can honestly say that if it wasn’t for her encouragement, I may have never continued writing after high school ended. So I would like to honor her by spreading this video of her doing her very first cover song by one of her favorite artists. I hope you all enjoy. Please comment on the video VIA YouTube if you enjoyed it. I know I did 🙂