The soothing balm of cool night air

Kisses the wrinkles of our furrowed brows,

As we stand motionless in our bubbles,

Single file under the dazzling marquee,

Waiting to release what haunts us.

Outside we are still singular,

We don’t mingle, don’t touch.

But when the music begins,

We are an amalgamation,

Of varied walks of life,

Swaying together in concert,

With the beat of the drums,

And the melody of the vocals.

It brings us together,

Regardless of status or creed.

For one night, to your left and your right,

Stand allies in the fight.

It’s not her velvet touch that pulls me in,

Or the curves that flow from head to toe.

It’s in the words she speaks as I eagerly listen,

It’s the galaxy within that makes her glow.

In a million years, I might never discover,

Every planet and star that makes up her soul.

But I would spend my days trying to uncover,

The mysteries that keep me coming back for more.

Among the tropics surrounded by ethereal beauty

People bustling about on a sandy beach,

laughter and the ocean’s song crowd the air,

A thought wades in the shallows of my mind,

Always peeking above the waterline,

never out of view.

I could be carving mountains in the alps,

Feeling the icy breeze graze my skin.

Adrenaline coursing through my veins,

as powdered snow billows with each movement,

and still never escape that feeling.

If I were watching the bulls fight in the Azores,

Women in floral patterns dancing in the streets,

To the rhythm of Fado, blessing the night,

with their majestic step,

And the local wine blurring my vision,

I would still find that thought penetrating the haze.

Because wherever life might take me,

no matter how subtle or extravagant,

It always leads me back to you,

Where home is anywhere,

as long as you’re there.

Weightless words fog the window
Clouding thoughts I once found mellow
Swirling tricks mistaken for treats,
Feeding me poison in place of sweets.
Spouting phrases out of context,
A hail of daggers finding the X.
Taking breaths to slow my heart,
Subdue the pain as it rips me apart.
Do you hear yourself when you speak,
Or is it I that has only grown weak?
I wish I could turn my head away,
As you find something else to say.
But there is no glory in surrender,
Crack the bottle for another bender,
Numb the soul, stoke the fires,
Spread the memories on funeral pyres,
Watch the ashes catch the breeze,
As my dreams get lost in the trees.
Entangled in your lover’s folly,
Preparing yourself for another volley.

As if this constant upheaval of my health wasn’t enough,
You stand there barking orders telling me to act tough.
Say how easy it is to brush it off with the company of a “friend”,
Tell me how I’ll feel so much better if I see you again.
But let me stop you before you go off the deep end.
Because I’m the one calling the shots for the war within.

I wake up only to sing the same routines

Double shot of espresso for the terrible dreams.

Fill my cup with honey to mask the bitterness,

Take a few pills to appease the sickness,

Try to choke some breakfast down,

As my self esteem continues to drown.

The lump in my throat won’t let much pass,

So I settle for some yogurt and an ice cold glass,

Of painful thoughts that circulate around my head,

They hover like a ghost that wants to see me dead

But I’m not willing to let go of this place,

I only want to learn how to forget a face.

I am in mourning…

Not because a loved one passed on,

but because I have a hole inside of me,

that once gleamed like burnished silver,

with diamond insets catching the light,

of a newly awoken sun.

It burned like the molten core of the earth,

flowing in rivers of golden ecstasy,

Filling every crevice of my body,

with an inimitable warmth.

The glow of what used to be,

is now a pulsating ember,

flickering in and out of existence,

teasing the end with its stuttering thoughts,

praying it could hold on a little longer,

though fate is quick to smother hope.

What wasn’t meant to be,

mustn’t be.

And so I go on,

missing a piece,

wishing for peace,

drinking myself to sleep.

I’m fairly confident that my heart is in fact an idiot.

My friends tell me to follow it, that it won’t lead me astray,

But boy would I beg to differ; my heart is a drunkard,

And if I heed its word one more time I may never recover.

The last time I succumbed to its siren song,

I wound up drinking malbec wine in a Mexican restaurant at noon.

Not to say the food wasn’t good, but when you play, Volver, Volver

A half dozen times on the barely functioning jukebox,

as you savor the last drops of glass number four,

it’s safe to say you’ve reached the lowest of lows.

At least from there I had nowhere else to go,

but up… until my heart had something else to say.

I swore that the first time you broke my heart would be the last,

Yet here I am trying to find the words to defeat this loneliness,

That follows me again as I try to give up on the thought of you.

You tried to give me hope where you knew none existed,

that’s what cuts the deepest, the feeling of chasing a ghost.

Some ethereal nothingness that you somehow gave life to,

Feigning just the right amount of affection to keep me hooked,

Planting words like seedlings that spread their roots,

From my heart to my fingertips like a fatal ventriloquist.

But your veil could never last forever if it faced resistance.

I started to question the smoke you’d cast over my doubts,

Massaging them with promises you never meant to keep,

Until I wrenched myself from the grip of your influence.

Still, I sit here not vindicated but somehow feeling guilty,

Because I should have known where this road was going,

I knew all of the signs and cautions along the way,

Yet I still thought I was strong enough to break through

To what I thought was the real you.