Monthly Archives: March 2014

If I saw you today
Would I run the other way?
If I saw you today
Would you ask me why I frayed?
If I saw you today
Would I even know what to say?

If I saw you today
Would you turn your back on me?
If I saw you today
Is there a chance you’ll shout with glee?
If I saw you today
Would you utter any form of apology?

If I never see you again
Will I forget the days we cherished?
If I never see you again
Will my heart always remember the day it nearly perished?
If I never see you again
Will I ever forgive your truths embellished?

I hope I do, I hope one day I can truly forgive you.

The tragedy of this world is that no one is happy, whether stuck in a time of pain or joy. The tragedy of this world is that everyone is alone. For a life in the past cannot be shared with the present. Each person who gets stuck in time gets stuck alone

-Alan Lightman in Einstein’s Dreams

A profound snippet from the novel by Alan Lightman. It touches on a subject that I think all of us have had experience with at one point or another. It reflects on our tendencies as humans to look back on our past and in a way, stay stagnant in their memory. It points out that although looking back is quite natural, or unavoidable, that we cannot allow those moments to define our future.

Like a predator lurking in the dark, you surprised me.

With razor sharp talons that sunk into my soul

And teeth of sharpened ivory, strong yet elegant

Gripped at my neck in tender suffocation

Like a predator lurking in the dark, you found me.


Like the swift winds of Fall, you breezed through my heart

tickling with tendrils my ventricles to ease the suffering

Brushing along the scarred tissue beneath leathery skin

You took me by the hand, and lead me to my slumber

Like the swift winds of Fall, like a shot through my heart.


You were the song of angels flooding my every thought

Invading dire moments with hope and tranquility

Your voice makes life like lemonade, so sweet

With a bite at the end, with a chill in my cheeks.

You were the song of angels, in every thought, entranced.


Like the warmth of a midsummer’s night, you sheltered my head

In the crest of your breast, stroking my hair with your radiance.

You lull me to sleep in this bed you’ve made.

With your linen and throws and the down plumed and billowed

Like the warmth of a midsummer’s night, you let me rest my head.

I find myself betrayed by the morning’s light

Yet I find truth in the night’s dark sky

Blood shot eyes find redemption in the shadows

The truth burns away in the light strong or mellow

I see myself trapped behind these walls

No way out, no one to hear my calls

Alone in this darkness, I wish for day

At least then my true self will be stowed away

I fear not what night brings my way

But the fear lies in knowing what they will say

The time will come when night will turn to day

My eyes will be open, crooked smile

And my shadow will be sheltered in denial

I woke up today in the green fields of May, with you lying close to my face. As I ventured into your eyes something had closed behind them. You admit you’re shattered inside, that somehow there is no more light to be shown through your eyes.

“The sun never shines on closed doors” they say. Let me in and tell me of your sins, let the gentile blade of your finger cut along the stubble of my face, and I’ll show you I am no longer afraid of whatever may hide within. Let my rough hands be cleansed by the smooth silk of your armor and open your doors once more.

You brushed my hand away with a smile on your face, and I knew you couldn’t be opened so easily. We end with a sigh as we stare at the sky in these green fields of may, yet the sun never shines on closed doors.


Author’s note: This passage was inspired by Flogging Molly’s “The Son Never Shines on Closed Doors”. A beautiful song, speaking of the doors we close and the importance of keeping them open to the world. 

Every part of your body resembles something of the Shoreline Sunrise; your hair is the soft white sand gleaming in the rays of the newly awoken sun. Your eyes are the warm solar radiance as it rises above the frigid air of night. Your skin, as gentile as the soft blue sky that awaits. Your lips, curl like the waves setting on the ocean shore. And the glorious sound of waves colliding brings me back to the day we first kissed in such a heavenly setting. And as our waves collide, they create a mist where the sun reflects its majesty in a rainbow nearly as beautiful as the woman who stands before me.

Eventually, everything settles as the sun sets behind a purple horizon. The sand turns dull once more, the sky turns black, your eyes will close, but you are still in my arms, your breast rising and falling with the ebb and flow of the tide.  That is how I know the sun will rise again in our paradise. It is how I know the sand will be warm and soft once more, and the waves will awaken as you rise from your slumber and we embrace as lovers do.

Though, this will have to wait, for now I am awed at your beauty in your subtle slumber. Goodnight my love, goodnight, for soon our lips will reunite. We will awaken the sun and release its ethereal starlight.

Too many days since I’ve seen her pretty face
My love has been strong and everyday I’m getting older,
“We will be together again” was the last thing that I told her
And yet our distance stayed the same
Not a day goes by that she’s not on my mind
And there are nights when I dream of seeing her again
Like an angel I can feel her presence
And like a goddess She has touched my heart
But my feelings for her have drifted away
As I live my life day after day
Every moment with her I will never forget
But my heart melted when she left
Memories of her grace have been what pulled me through
But it is time for me to finally let go
I thank her for the love and everything she has given me
But it’s time for me to sleep and set my heart free

I need not know what you want

I care not what you need

I need not fear what it is you desire

This dark passenger rages a dark fire

Once upon a time you controlled my soul

Tempting me into a never ending hole

Foolishly I followed your ways

But no longer will you haunt my days

This dark passenger controls me no more

Its time for me to lock the fucking door

Alone at last I pray for night.
But in the night I fear day-light.
For the day brings nothing but madness my way.
The fear of hearing what they will say
Makes the daylight last forever and
The nights turn quickly into days.
This bleak soul I thought had gone,
Has only stowed away; in the back of my mind.
Waiting for a chance to reveal…
…you say I look sad, but sadness is not my downfall.
Only fear in not knowing what my future holds.
Fear of failing once again, failing you.
The future is my darkness.
And no sun nor star can spark the flame.