Who knows?

“No one.”

But I want it more, and more

With infinite knowledge

left to explore

Through the doors.

“Then open them”

But you said…

“no matter, break through.

The Search is Life.

A fear of life

Breeds ignorant death”

My protoplasmic shell sits warm in the Summer sun,

while my soul lies trapped in the frozen tundra.

The two cannot coexist, without negating creation;

resulting in, psychological frustration.

An impasse in the innards of a ruined soul,

between warring generals of Good and Evil.  

Time will not heal, nor will the Summer sun loosen their grasp.

Instead I remind myself of the days we spent together.

Remembering the good, the bad, and everything between.

A tickle of warmth, to break the firing line, a brief reprieve.

Living like a slave to buried memories.

We shined like the brightest stars

even on the darkest of nights.

Yet we never knew when to give up a fight.

I guess this is where I find the light,

or recess into the shadow-less night. 

love… will I ever get you right?

It’s been so long since I’ve talked to her

The “old” her

Before my mind over-emphasized her grandeur

Before my self-destructive tendencies

Broke my heart in two cities

Half fled, with her, half stayed behind

Reluctant to commit at any point in time

Itself to the trials of deferring love or lust

for a tender heart, swept north in a gust

a primordial wind whose current lay ancient

with whispers of the Renaissance and darkest of ages,

with conflicting wisdom, not to be believed,

by anyone, but the naive: Me.

 Then life became a bore without her,

without her in my hopeless arms.

I pressured and I endured

With fables of love, and the way “I LOVED HER!”

All simply a veil, over childhood insecurities

As if she were the light, and I, frightened by night

Feared the dusk when she leaves.