Monthly Archives: August 2013

It’s been so long since I’ve talked to her

The “old” her

Before my mind over-emphasized her grandeur

Before my self-destructive tendencies

Broke my heart in two cities

Half fled, with her, half stayed behind

Reluctant to commit at any point in time

Itself to the trials of deferring love or lust

for a tender heart, swept north in a gust

a primordial wind whose current lay ancient

with whispers of the Renaissance and darkest of ages,

with conflicting wisdom, not to be believed,

by anyone, but the naive: Me.

 Then life became a bore without her,

without her in my hopeless arms.

I pressured and I endured

With fables of love, and the way “I LOVED HER!”

All simply a veil, over childhood insecurities

As if she were the light, and I, frightened by night

Feared the dusk when she leaves.

Because of my love for Nerdfighteria and all they believe in, I had to share this beautiful original song by a young Canadian artist whose name is Laurena Segura (A fellow Nerdfighterian) You can get her released songs on iTunes 🙂 Enjoy!


Sometimes I feel like I am permafrost
Alone in the tundra and really lost
And to think that this is how I feel
Like the ground is melting and nothing’s real

And in the taiga everybody knows
That you shouldn’t wander where the hemlock grows
When the land is vast and the wind blow fast
Will you stay with me if the darkness last?

I know I have nothing to give so may as well give up and live

You say I’m breaking your friends heart
But meanwhile you’re tearing mine apart
So stop asking me if she loves you back
If it’s charm you have then it’s courage you lack

But I want your love and I want it now
I’d ask you for it but I don’t know how
I want to hold you tight and I want to now
I’d say I love you but I don’t know how
It’s done X2

And I remember when we rode the bus
Through the boreal forest and the winter must
I put my head on your shoulder but you moved away
I said I wasn’t tired anyway

And I pretended that I didn’t care
But I hid a few tears behind a lock of hair
And I was tired and I needed sleep
So I swallowed my pride and I changed seat

So I’d rather you make up your mind
A little faster, you’re such a waste of time X2

And you wanted more but you needed less
‘Cause you think that you’re better than the rest
And I wanted less but I needed more
‘Cause you left all I had on the forest floor

And In the mixed forest with the lakes galore
You always left me wanting more
And in the mixed forest with the lakes galore
You left my heart on the forest floor

I know I have nothing to give so may as well give up and live

The days when my mind was still working…

The Way it Goes

Years have gone by since I needed so bad to let go

My thoughts racing as I drive my ass home

I cant believe its been another night with you blown

I try to turn to my words while being confused by your own

(still cant get this shit straight)

I turned to the one thing always on my side (a puff then a rip… OH ease my mind)

Not much else to do when you are immune to my charm

And getting close to you is like leaping the great wall

An impossible feat; at least I’d give it my all

Yet here I am with my tail between my legs, cutting my losses and limping home

(feeling the need to be so numb, so gone, so blown)

Oh what a beautiful night with a shooting star so bright.

Only to find your face plaguing my mind

I suppose…

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So if you think you know me so well

Just say the word, send me to hell

I’ll say hello to your “one hour loves”

At least they had your hand at once


I just hoped and prayed you would

But God does not exist in worlds

Where love takes the backseat

To your callous words.


Yeah just pull that trigger from under my pillow

Watch the life bleed eyes that

Couldn’t look away even if they tried

The neighbors don’t need to hear the blast


So press that muzzle as hard as you can

Until the pillow grazes your hand

Let it rip as it sits on my temple *pow*

End the life unknown. 

Since I finally made an appearance at my FIRST GlassJAw show, held at the Glasshouse concert hall, I wanted to reblog a poem I wrote about the band to show my gratitude for them coming back to California for their 20th anniversary mini-tour. I feel honored; quite literally, to have had the opportunity of watching them live at one of the best venues on their schedule. AMAZING SHOW!

The Way it Goes

In high fidelity I hear

A ravaged man

Screaming at the world

He talks of razors and


And still finds time for

Clairvoyant discussion.

His symphony, an army.

A sentry for any circumstance.

Be it fighting relentless demons

Or his own rogue hands.

He is the ruler of dreams

No other man can.

I listen closely

To miss nothing.

A whisper, too far

I NEED more!


I crave more than deserved

Even then, it’s never enough.

Longing to live these tragedies

For my sorrow would finally be


Awaiting your next call to arms

Years in the making.

Touring roadie cars

Medication ritual to keep Your

Body an individual

To prevent the demon from

Unleashing a new heathen

Relapse, collapse

The story of your life.

I pray for your body

To repent the sickness

To return your health.

But I pray far too much

I’ve not control over

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