Sobriety PT: 1

Sobriety

She veils herself in painful cringing
She invades the head with mind-numbing song
“You’re never going back, I’ll keep you forever”
It leaves little room for hope
Not before the present fear envelopes
“You’re almost there”
The nausea brings me to my knees
Begging for the taste of my greatest vice
Begging for a drop, a molecule, to revive
NO!
“You’re so close! I’m waiting for you”
“It gets better”
Does it? When the slightest irritant
Floods my vision crimson.
Outbursts, terror, fear, depression
Rules the starting line
They take photos at my worst,
they sell them for profit
They use my body, they tear at my soul
“It’s only the beginning; but it’s not impossible”
I fear the dreams, that come with a cleansing
Possible night terrors, leading to insomnia
Vivid awakening from lost love invades a weak mind
I don’t know if I will make it. But I’ve no other choice
But to try.

I’ve got to fucking try.