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I just wanted to push out the first chapter of a book I’ve been “writing”. It has been about four months and I barely have two chapters going for it. But, I love the story-line I have been going with and I am just hoping that I procure a little more motivation to continue instead of allowing myself to stay in this stagnant state. Anywho, enjoy!

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No time for drawn out introductions, I’m on the lam! My name is Geronimo Sinclair-Salvatorre. It’s nearly midnight on the fourth of July, 1999 in Los Angeles, California, and the supply for fireworks has been nothing short of spectacular. Some friends of mine –well I may reconsider the manner in which I address them if I get out of this ordeal unscathed– persuaded me by way of blackmail to assist in their plot for revenge on the local gang bangers around town by taking advantage of the TNT surplus this fine Holiday has brought upon us. These “gang bangers” in question, resemble a loosely formed posse at best; minus the six shooters, add a little mouth jewelry, color matched apparel, and voila, the suspects personified. I simply refer to them as Los Imbeciles.

Yeah I know, not exactly a shot to the heart, but I call them like I see them; a bunch of knuckle dragging mouth breathers, forcing Ebonics derivatives into the English language: who prey on the weak to feed their lust for emotional destruction. AKA “Bullies” for those less informed on the urban equivalent. Personally, I never give much of a crap what these guys do. I just leave them alone, and they have done the same for me. Although I fear this betrayal of our unspoken agreement is opening up a new can of worms in my life.

I’m not sure why I got the short end of the stick, but these heathens insisted on tracing my every step instead of treading after one of my soon-to-be ex-friends. Lucky for me, these oafs hadn’t the foresight to wear a belt (Some unfortunate fashion trend that must be).  Each grasping their crotch, attempting to prevent their pants from making a catastrophic fall to fumbling ankles. This ultimately slowed their traverse allowing me the opportunity for a short breather at an intersection as I contemplated the best evasive maneuver.

As I look around for a glimmer of hope, I spot the red, white and blue pole outside of Johnny’s barber shop “Bingo” I thought. He’s got a package delivery chute that my skinny ass can still fit through. I’ve used it once or twice in similar situations. The downside, he sometimes remembers to lock it before he leaves work just in case some crack-head tries to set up shop inside. The streets of LA, my friend, they harbor some of the grade-A ingrates this country has to offer. I blame it on the heat. Too much sun can drive any person mad.

Now I am left thinking “Should I bolt through Johnny’s shop and take the back door to an alley that intersects with my home street? Or take the long way without risking the possibility of Johnny’s chute being locked?” Then as if my manhood took a shot of adrenaline, I bolted for the shop door. But taking my time to think things over really let the scumbags close in on me, the chute became my only hope.

My hand grabbed for the handle as soon as my cross-trainers touched the sidewalk but my heart fell into my stomach once the flesh of my fingertips touched the cold metal handle. “Johnny locked up for the 4th of July” I thought. I sat for a moment, staring into his shop reliving the “wonder years” when my mom would give me ten bucks before school so that I could run down to Johnny’s for a quick trim after class. Now I am on the other side of the firing line, looking at the red vinyl and polished steel structure of the barber’s chair I had filled when I first stumbled into his shop with my parents. Now I was simply a terminal victim, waiting in the gallows for my executioner. Soon enough I felt hot breath down my back as several pissed off faces, scorched from a firework prank gone awry, stared me down in a way that could peel the paint off of a car.

The leader of the group, Brandon Rowins, -AKA B-Rizzle- one of the better read fellows forming Los Imbeciles, addressed me ” A Little late for kids to be playing with fire, EH? CHIEF!” .

He knew my nickname? What the hell. And look at that carbonized pompous prick. Only he could pull off an expression of content at capturing his prey with half of his shirt still smoldering as if he had just snuffed the last of our freedom fireworks with cyclopean claws he calls “hands”. (Isn’t alliteration fun?) After letting out a sigh, I thought to myself “crap, if only I could stay inside of my mind during the impending beating I am about to take.”

Still, he asked a question. So I answered with a question that had been burrowing in the back of my mind since the chase began

“What’s your end game here, BRANDON? I wanted nothing to do with this fiasco in the first place”

Apparently he only heard the mispronunciation of his name and a well placed left hook struck my lower jaw. After which he corrected me.

“The name’s B-Rizzle, Bitch!”

“Oh, so you finally added a last name,’Bitch’, not bad. It suits you well B-Rizzle. Or is that just what the ‘B’ really stands for?” I said after recovering from the stars floating around my head. I’m not sure what came over me, but I figured if I am going to die tonight, I sure as hell wasn’t going to do it on my knees. I’m starting High School in a few months for Christ sake, I need to take a stand once and for all!

He scoffs “Big mouth for such a little shit, heh. I have half a mind to stomp your ass out right now. Hmph, the fearless leader or should I say ‘Chief’ of your bitch-ass crew. Did you think setting our campsite on fire with your amateur firework display, would teach us a lesson?”

To which I made an ill-advised snarky remark “I was hoping you all would take a lesson on fire safety. As you can see, it’s not something to…”

Before I could finish, he crushed his boot into my ribcage, expelling every atom of oxygen my lungs once contained. Brandon, annoyed by my insubordinate tough guy act shouted, “Can it, wise guy! You were walking a fine line before we caught your ass. Now it has all but dissolved under your feet. If I wasn’t such a nice guy, I’d let my ol’ pal, Casper, here have his way with you. But tonight, I’m feeling slightly charitable. I’m going to let you go as an example to your comrades. Show them what happens when you mess with the OC KINGS (Their posse’s chosen name)”

“The hell with that, B! Let’s throw this clown off the fucking pier! Look at my face! The cock-squeeze burnt off my hair, half my clothes, and all the damn chronic we had is fuckin’ TOAST YO! I ain’t ’bout to let this kid walk away, B” said, Casper, presumably because he is almost as white as the light you see before death. But he is better known as Ruxton Feinstein. A troubled Jewish youth who insists he was black in a previous life. Admittedly, Ruxton’s, call for my untimely death sent a chill down my spine. He’s always struck me as a sort of sociopath. But I dare not admit this assumption in his presence.

I was almost sure they wouldn’t consider a death sentence, but like I said, Casper, sort of has his own agenda. And why the hell does he think I am the leader? If I remember correctly, I got dragged into this disaster! Luckily, or so I thought, Brandon, cut back in “This panty waste isn’t worth the trouble, Cas. I’ve got something better up my sleeve. A ‘Classic’ so-to-speak”. Brandon lands one more well placed blow, his bare knuckles finding the soft spot near my right temple. All I remember from that moment on was falling to the ground, catching a glimpse of Casper’s freckled grin as he watched my skull crash into the sidewalk…

I stayed up all night with her

Because that’s what she wanted
I cried because I cared
That’s what she wanted
In every word I say she feels comfort
Because it’s what she wanted
But what about a word from you?
That’s what i wanted
A loving smile
It’s all I wanted
A chance with you
Is all I needed
But when i look you’re never there

Yeah I know this road leads no where
But I cant help myself from hangin on
Yeah the medication daily is a ritual
It numbs so I’ll keep hanging on
This road leads no where, and
I cant help but wonder
Whats waiting on the other side
If it found the path
The path to a luminous life…

Because I can, and because I love you all!

How Deep is the Ocean Performed By Frank Sinatra

How much do I love you? I’ll tell you no lie
How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky?
How many times a day do I think of you?
How many roses are sprinkled with dew?

How far would I travel to be where you are?
How far is the journey from here to a star?
And if I ever lost you, how much would I cry?
How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky?

How far would I travel to be where you are?
How far is the journey from here to a star?
And if I ever lost you, how much would I cry?
How deep is the ocean? How high is the sky?
How high is the sky?

It all sounds like a broken record
When you say that it’s the distance;
No, long distance.
Or did we just grow distant?
Because I have heard this all before
From the mouth of a siren by the shore
Dragging me to the frigid depths
A last caress, to compliment a final breath.

Another reason I love Sinatra’s voice…

First the tide rushes in;
plants a kiss on the shore.
Then rolls out to sea.
And the sea is very still
Once more.

So I rush to your side.
Like the oncoming tide.
With one burning thought:
Will your arms, open wide?

At last, we’re face to face.
And as we kiss, through an embrace
I can tell, I can feel,
You are love, you are real
Really mine

In the rain,
In the dark,
In the sun.

Like the tide at its ebb
I’m at peace in the web
Of your arms.

So here we come to the end of their first album “Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Silence”. This song is half hardcore, and if you stick around to the end, you can hear an added vocal track from Daryl on the piano.

Now, RoadRunner Records were known to add their own shit to GlassJaw’s tracks in an effort to sell more records, but the band didn’t really dig that kind of authority over their work. So that little added bit may have been the devil’s work or hopefully the band intended it to be there because I love it.

This time, Daryl does not elaborate on what the song is about, but I think it is pretty clear he had his heart broken once again by some woman with a chip on her shoulder. My favorite line of all is at the end of the first part of the track before heading into the “hidden track”: “Pack your shit and leave, and take my memories of her with you (I don’t need to know)

Hotel Of The White Locust BY: GlassJaw

Welcome to Hollywood, whore

Wake the fuck up in Hollywood, whore.

My dance has passed.

Combine the throb within the head

With the rhythm of my fucking feet

Say a novena for all those lost.

And read the bloodstains on the sheets.

I’ve whored myself for less than this

And I’ve prayed to appear to be fed.

As I knelt on my pillow God

I clench my fists and banged my head!

Who could ever take the place of me?

Now I kiss up to God, my fists

And I pray to keep my head

Though I like your pretty eyes better blackened

And my fists all fucking red!

Through sickness and health

I’ve kissed up to God, two years.

I have focused on the cameos made by the tiger

In the valley of the locust.

Wipe it off your mouth

Get up off your knees

And make me your God.

It’s sexual debauchery

You cost what you’re worth.

Followed by a boy like this.

Re-ignited by all your visits.

As long as your mouth is shut,

You’ll still be fucking beautiful

Pack your shit and leave,

(I don’t need to know)

and take my memories of her with you

My protoplasmic shell sits warm in the Summer sun,

while my soul lies trapped in the frozen tundra.

The two cannot coexist, without negating creation;

resulting in, psychological frustration.

An impasse in the innards of a ruined soul,

between warring generals of Good and Evil.  

Time will not heal, nor will the Summer sun loosen their grasp.

Instead I remind myself of the days we spent together.

Remembering the good, the bad, and everything between.

A tickle of warmth, to break the firing line, a brief reprieve.

Living like a slave to buried memories.

We shined like the brightest stars

even on the darkest of nights.

Yet we never knew when to give up a fight.

I guess this is where I find the light,

or recess into the shadow-less night. 

love… will I ever get you right?

This song was influenced by a band named Sons of Abraham, which included a couple of GlassJaw’s current lineup. They didn’t elaborate anymore on any other influences, really. So take it as you will! Besides, music is meant to mean something different to each listener.

Hurting and Shoving By: GlassJaw

(She should have let me sleep)
“When I get back”
Pre-break of dawn
Hear the ring it’s me
Live from a pay phone
Talking in the rain.
Things pan out exactly as I say they will.
Will I be less happy
When I get back?!

Two hands in one glove
As if we were poor.
The hard up make soup from stones
Like the poor before them did before.

You say the waiting could crush your heart

But it’s nothing new to me
Having you crave me so desperately
But I know
Now when you need me you bleed for me
though now I’m gone you fill my shoes with new
Fans.

Always and forever
We are apart and may she see
She’d be free of rejoicing in distance
If she only let me sleep!

“Will things make less happy
When I get back?!”

Absence makes the heart grow still
Abuse the hunt: confuse the kill.
I know, I know.
Make the dead feel deader
Deader.
Make the dead sleep nights with a razor
Waiting.
Kill the prey~

I’ll hold my child’s head underwater
If it’s a boy, I was joking
If it’s a daughter, I’ll say I did what I did
Because I had to…
And if you find my kid later
Tell her I laughed too.

We just might work out fine
Because I love you enough
To let you give me that pain that I want
…And when you do
I just might fuck you
enough to love you.
Once upon my night stand
Lied letters piled in columns
Postmarked middle island
Out easy in the county of solemn.

Okay, since Daryl, has quite literally a “one-liner” explaining the inspiration of the song; I’d like to give my side of the story as well.

Daryl- “Majour, is about legalized prostitution, to get back all the whores who broke your heart.”

For me, this song is about those few girls out there (same with dudes) who just can’t stay faithful to one person. And that their “lust” is what they call “love” that’s why I feel the “immature love” line towards the end is perfect. But, I am not nearly as poetic as Daryl, and I sort of wish it wasn’t about prostitution lol.

Majour By: GlassJaw

You only get one taste
And for this gift we are graced.
You only get one taste
And for this gift
Wait.

Now let me go
So I can brag about the gifts that he stole.
(thank you) for all the lonely nights
I will carry this with me where I go.

Bad taste in my mouth.
You would think I’m a whore.
Bad taste in my mouth.
You would think I’m you.

You only get one taste
and for this gift we are graved.
You only get one taste
And for this gift
She’s likely to go,
Or so she’ll say.
We sleep as we do to keep our nights days away.
Love,
Or so she’ll say
Immature love
You breed immature lust!

So I died the virgin.
I have told you before,
you were nothing special to him
(and that’s just another thing that’s
Not new for you).

You’ll be born
You before.

Embody me
With your body
I’ve never seen it.
I have never.
Embody me
With your body.
I’ve never seen it.
Are you happy?