When you see yourself through the distorted lens of depression, you have trouble recognizing your own reflection. You can’t see the seam separating your normal self from the irrational being that calls you its host, and shows none of the courtesies a guest should uphold. The lines blur, and all that’s left is a pain that washes over your heart like a malevolent wave lapping upon your withered soul; a pulsating ache that ebbs with the ever-changing tide of humanity.
Swept Away
His self-esteem lies in a fetid puddle
Staring up at him in longing
Wishing to restore its place.
He tries to cup it within his palms,
To drink and in turn reinvigorate.
Alas, like all things in his life
He grimly watched his salvation
Trickle slowly through stiff fingers
As though his skin turned to stone
And soon, his heart followed.
For swiftly the tears of regret
Flow like Neptune’s sea
From burning eyes,
Eroding his grip and
Withering away his heart,
All hope is swept away
With the ebbing tide.
Savior
I met her at the crossroads.
She strode in like a pristine petal
Riding easy on a western breeze.
Strands of midnight flowed
Like shadows beneath a straw hat
Framing ethereal chestnut eyes
And a smile like Venus
Able to shatter any man’s guise.
The Absurd
It would be unwise to decipher the ache in his heart.
So much so that he truly believes
If he were to dig down into the depths
To recall the origin of that wretched,
unwelcome, drowning sensation,
He would no longer have the strength
To climb out of that pitch black hole.
That he may be forced along Dante’s path
With no guide nor God to lead him safely.
For within those depths he will plunge, and
The path of the absurd waits hungrily at the crossroad.
The F-Word
Fate is an unrelenting brute.
It’s never tempted by diversion
Or wise men with silver tongues
Forming hopeful hypotheses.
It’s simple though: Que sera, sera.
The young mother,
an abandoned lover,
has felt the cold steel
Of Fate’s unbiased blade
Gliding easily along her cheek
And perhaps the cackling clown
Sobs quietly in his room
After a standing ovation.
Remembering, all too well
Why his smile is simply a mask.
Her Smile
She has one of those rare enchanting smiles
One that captivates an entire room immediately
With a flash of teeth and blush in her cheek.
Without reprieve, her smile brings courage to the meek.
Doors of Perception
“If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks in his cavern”
-Aldous Huxley
Hindsight’s Never Been So Blind
Do I recite the name in hopes it will bring back that old sensation
When hope was in the air, and just that word could reincarnate
Every bit of splendor that we shared?
No.
All that’s left is the smudge in hindsight
The blur that fights for recognition,
When I’d really prefer,
It stay no more, or no less, than a tiny, insignificant blur
The Endless Night
He dreams about her far too often…
No matter the elixir he consumes.
Whether it be wine,
Or a dry martini,
A swig of codeine,
Or herbal remedies,
the reveries,
They never cease.
One in a Million
I would embrace the air around me
As it has grown thick with her aroma,
The ground she dances upon
As it has irrevocably become hallowed,
The vibrations in the ether as she speaks
For it selflessly grants, all auditors peace.